I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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