Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
one might say we're banned from that church
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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