no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
