Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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