that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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