The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
