I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
