I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
