They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
