I think i peed on brittanys purse
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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