your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize