I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
