Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
