can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
