he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
