I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
