Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
