Tell her she can't have a vagina
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
