Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
