Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
