The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
