I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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