i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
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i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You were trust falling into bushes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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