Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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