I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
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Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
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I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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