she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
pray to the hookup gods
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
