So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
