You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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