I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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