Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
