I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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