It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
