if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
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I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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