I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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