Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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