she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What happened to fro yo and sex?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
