that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
