I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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