I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
