Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Farmville is her only friend.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
