So drunk its hurt
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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