erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize