I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
