my mouth tastes like poor choices
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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