you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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