Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
