OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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