We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I believe in your delicious
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
