It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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