omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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