now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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