so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
