My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
