now i know why i became what i already was.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
