Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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