Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
