i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
