I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
