Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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