I got chris browned last night
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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