paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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