I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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