I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
