break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We're too hungover to prance.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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