Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
