I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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