We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
