omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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