Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My vagina is very pro this idea
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
